The Battle Rages within my own Heart

Tammy Ragsdell
Jan 23
3 min read

My struggle to prepare for Silver Dollar City this year has been filled with ups and downs, struggles and discontentment. While I am thankful and blessed to be here and I am committed to fulfilling my obligations, my thoughts are far from the hills of the Ozarks. Not sure why my mind can’t seem to focus on the tasks at hand. I think I have become really comfortable with the normalcy of my everyday life. As I grow older, the demands of my life envelope me and keep me tied down to a routine of daily living. I take comfort in tackling those demands in the peaceful constraints of my own home. But when moved out of that place and into the hustle of the world around me, my mind seems to shut down. It doesn’t adapt as well as it used to. Call it age, a season in life or an unwilling heart….whatever it is, I’m in it. God is my refuge and strength, so no matter where I find myself, I find shelter in Him. He is my home, and He is my home away from home.

The battle rages within my own heart. The scales of life have tipped and aren’t in balance anymore. The weight of the world is heavy. In Matthew 11:30, Jesus tells us that when we yoke ourselves to Him our burden becomes light. He will never give us more than we can handle. While I may not be able to exactly pinpoint this uneasiness that I feel, I trust the one who created me, and I also trust that he will move me forward into clarity and purpose. As I settle in for the next 6 weeks, my prayer is that I may be a light to those around me, that my heart embraces the people around me with kindness and genuine love.

The seasons of life come and go, each one bringing about change and movement. Change that puts my weakness on display only to reveal the need for a Savior. We can do nothing on our own. So how do we move into and through change and seasons? I know that God is ultimately using my uneasiness as a vehicle to move me to the next phase of life. I only need to roll the window down, feel the gentle breeze of peace and smell the sweet fragrance of faith that will move me gracefully through the rebirth in spring, the growth in summer, the falling away of Autum and the solitude and reflection of winter.